i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
