I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
