I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
