Only a mothe r could love this liver
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
