Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Walk of Shame today included voting.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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