i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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