So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
