Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize