The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
