omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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