"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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