dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
