I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
