I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Watching her eat just hurts me
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
