I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize