sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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