So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
