Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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