The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
