But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize