i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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