allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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