So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
