I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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