put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
