barbara walters just said penis...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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