im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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