Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We have started to decorate penises.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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