too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
