I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
