brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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