just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
