I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
