I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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