I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
