she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
