I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
