just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize