I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
