"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
