Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
now i know why i became what i already was.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
