U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
