The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize