I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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