did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
try to milk me bitch
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
