Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
as a side note pls kill me
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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