If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
