Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
