My brain says no but my pants say off.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
