so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
