don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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