I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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