you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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