You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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