are you still at the devil's house?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
please come you make the beer taste better
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
