It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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