Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
