Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
