i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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