fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
