you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
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On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>