So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.