My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
operation have a gay friend backfired
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.