He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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