ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
