Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
